I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
