please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
