Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
