I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
