its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
