You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They took my balls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
