you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
