I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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