Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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