Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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