there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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