the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
