I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
