It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
