this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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