You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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