Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Floor bacon is actually really good
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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