I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
