tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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