i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
