Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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