gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
