the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You peed on a flamingo?!?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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