dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
