Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
