I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
