I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
