A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
