I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
