I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i would punch a child for taco bell
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
nutella sex= disaster
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Still dying that you shit outside
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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