Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
