Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
