Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
