a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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