His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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