I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
