Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
