OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
