Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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