so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize