; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
