Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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