Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
