How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
