Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
high people should be assigned attendants
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
