would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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