I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
