never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
