check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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