i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
