Your mouth is God's brothel.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
