I want to make a zoo with you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize