mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize