I could make wine with my vomit
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
