i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize