i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
