Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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