the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
