were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
