What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
