this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
