she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
