he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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