every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize