Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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