ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The power of my boobs compel you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
