Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
